love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
