So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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