glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
