On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
