Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
