Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
