I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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