I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
