I'd wear matching sweaters with you
no you cant smoke seaweed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
