he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
