is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just want nice things and good sex
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
