I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
