I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
