is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
