so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
