I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
