did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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