Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
