last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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