If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
