what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
