We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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