well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't turn off my feet"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
