I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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