I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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