is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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