Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
