I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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