Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
