people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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