I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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