So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
