no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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