Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
one might say we're banned from that church
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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