Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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