Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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