K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
