Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
