I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
