dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
