Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
