And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
