there's paper in my vomit.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
