there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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