Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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