the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
