what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
