pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
