apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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