there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
never play flip cup with pint glasses
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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